Home sickness: will it reduce?
I find mysef very lucky to be a Fulbrighter. It is a great experience to be in the USA to further your study and to be with the experts in the respective fields. We are going to meet the professors whose books we read but never saw them. I have no words to express my feelings here at Manhattan Campus. It is unbelievable to be at such place and to have got a chance to brush up our English. But at the same time, I feel like crying because I am missing my family a lot, specially my kids. They are with my mother. I am too happy that they will be looked after very well there but it is a mother's heart. I have been meeting them in my dream every night. I do not know if it is because I keep on thinking about them in my free time. I know that the future destiny of a child is shaped by his or her mother's work. I hope they will be proud of me one day and will forgive me for keeping them away from myself in their childhood. Could anyone answer me and tell me if this sickness will continue or reduce?
Hima!, I am very impressed with you and all who left their kids in their countries. I imagine the way you feel but for sure is not close to the reality. I think you are very courageous. I am sure your kids and family in general is very proud. Also, I believe you will always miss them but the feeling of sadness will be diminished when you see your own progress and finally your goal achieved.
ReplyDeleteIn our cultures, family is like a center of everything, particularly the mother. I seem to understand what you feel despite not having any children.
ReplyDeleteHowever, let's keep yourself cheerful that what you'll gain feom here in two years will be beneficial to not only your family but your students and beneficiaries in your future work.
Hima! I feel what you say. Studying abroad for a married person with children is not an easy task, but we already made our tough decision. While we want to get something important, we should devote something else, and this devotion is being away from our children and our families.
ReplyDeleteWhat I suggest is to make yourself more busy with the lessons and friends. It might distract our mind a little not to be much depressed because of being apart from our families.
Best
I don't have childrens, however, in my country, family is too important. When I was very young, my father was working for 2 years abroad. He visited us regularly, I know is not the same as your case, but I'd like to say: 2 years ran. And when I grew up,I realized that my father's decision, was a love decision, because he loved us and he wanted to give us a better life.
ReplyDeleteAnd technologies help a lot!!!! we are in a different era!
It's normal to feel sadness, but you are strong and you have the skills to turn this sickness in a stronger experience
Hima, one thing I can tell you, is that if you were my mom I would be very proud of you and I’ll always remember that my mother went to America to get education and that will only drive me forward in life. You are their inspiration.
ReplyDeleteI hope that it wouldn't be as hard for you as you go on, and that this will give you strength..
Best of luck
M
Hima, take this from an African man who has left his wife and daughter, it is not an overnight thing that we get over the feeling that we have neglected our responsibilities as parents, wives and husbands but we need to look at the bugger picture-your being here has much benefit to your family and your kids in the long term as it is for you. I agree with Maria and Qadeer, our families back home are proud of us and the children will never hold this against us instead they will cherish the ideal of a mother who went all the way to the US to secure their future! So cheer up and mingle with us after all we are "Fulbrighters not Halfbrighters!" (I think I must provide citation here; Pam Ferman, St Johns University)Cheers!!!
ReplyDeleteIt’s actually very difficult to leave our family. Moreover, if you had kids is even tougher because of the responsibility that you have as a Parent and the thoughts that you are carrying. Nevertheless, it all depends of your higher purpose, your goals, we all are here to make our dreams come true, and help the people and society in our countries. In this way, it is completely normal to feel what we are feeling, but we can overcome this, pray to the almighty, stay connected with your family, we can do this.
ReplyDeleteTo Hima and all friends here,
ReplyDeleteWhile I'm reading the passage written by Hima and several thoughtful replies, I was surprised that so many students here are mothers and fathers! I truly admire your courage to become a scholar!
I always belived that there are two crucial parts in our lives: work and life. Before I came here, I felt like I already have chosen "work" instead of "life". This is because people kept saying that it will be hard for me, as a woman, to get married after finishing my Ph.D degree in America. People thought that my life was too focused on studying to caring someone else. So I just told them "I gave up to get married, so don't worry about it".
But the truth is, I didn't!
I think people need balance between work and life. Sometimes we should spend more time on our lives and sometimes we should do reversely. In the case of Hima and all of the fulbrighters maybe, it's the latter. The fact that you chose to spend more time on studying doesn't mean that you don't love your child or care for them. When you finish your study, you might spend more time on your child. What I want to say is there is not always "one choice" like black and white thing. I guess you've done great so far, so I belive you'll fulfill your study while caring your child in America as well.
so cheer up!This is the time for us to be strong!